A very simple Christmas Pudding

A proper Christmas isn't complete without a Christmas Pudding and a bottle of Sherry. This is a simple recipe adapted for use by Americans who may not have access to one of the key ingredients in a traditional English Christmas Pudding… Suet. Instead this recipe uses slightly stale pound cake as the main ingredient which creates the distinct dense spongy texture of a Christmas Pudding.

Incredients:

4 cups of crumbled stale pound cake

2 cups of raisins and dates soaked in rum

3 eggs

Lemon extract

Orange extract

Fruit syrup (I use Vimto syrup)

3 Tbsp of flour

Butter and flour to grease and flour the bowl

Strain the raisins and dates, reserving the rum for later. Put the crumbled pound cake in a mixing bowl and add the raisins and dates. Mix them together so that the raisins and dates are well covered with the crumbled pound cake. Whisk the eggs and mix them into the crumbled pound cake and fruit. Add a few drops of lemon and orange extract and a tablespoon of fruit syrup. Mix the extract and syrup into the mixture very well. Add approximately 3 Tbsp of flour, gradually, to create a thick sticky mix.

Butter and flour a baking bowl to prevent the pudding from sticking.

Pour the pudding mixture into the prepared baking bowl and smooth the top with a spatula.

Wrap a sheet of cooking parchment over the top of the bowl to seal in the moisture. Wrap aluminium foil around the bowl and parchment.

Place the baking bowl into a 380*F oven for 35 minutes. After 35 minutes turn the oven off, leaving the pudding in for an additional half hour or so.

Remove the pudding from the oven and sit it on the counter to cool. Once it cools remove the wrapping and pour the rum from the raisins and dates over the pudding, making sure to soak the pudding quite well. Wrap the pudding in parchment and aluminium foil. The pudding should stand for at least 2 or 3 days and up to a month.

It is traditional to make the pudding on the Sunday before Advent begins, referred to as “Stir-Up Sunday.”

Heat the pudding again before serving. Once warmed you can flip the pudding onto a plate and decorate it with powdered sugar and a sprig of holly or you can also soak the pudding in plenty of alcohol and light it on fire as you bring it to the table. This makes for an exciting presentation!

The Body and Blood of Christ

At Holy Communion the elements do not cease to be one thing simply because they become something else any more than we, as humans, cease to be sinners once we become part of Christ's Body in Baptism. They are changed. We cannot deny or ignore that fact. Christ said very plainly, "This is my Body" and "my Blood." The Bread and Wine at the Eucharist become Christ's Body and Blood. They take on a different character, just as we take on a different character in our Baptism. They are different, they are changed but they do not cease to be what they have always been.

Simply Delicious Beef and Ale Pie

1 pound ground beef

1 diced carrot
1/2 cup diced potatoes
1 pint Brown ale (1/2 a cup for the pie and the rest for the waiting)
1 tspn Kitchen Pepper
1 tspn Worcestershire sauce
3 bullion cubes
1 tspn flour
top and bottom crusts

Blend all of the ingredients evenly and simmer in a frying pan until the meat is thoroughly browned and the grease/beer has blended into a thick gravy. Place the crust into a pie dish and place the filling into the crust. Cover with the 2nd crust and bake at 350°f for 20 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes and serve with a generous slather of HP Brown Sauce. If there is any ale left after the wait in the oven, drink it as you enjoy.

It is lovely to serve alongside a plate of mash and peas.

10 Hobbies That People Actually Do For Fun

So here I am looking a new hobby. I've done lots of things for fun over the years but I am looking for something that I can do on the weekends that will be A) fun and B) not prohibitively expensive. In the process of searching for a new hobby (which thus far has been unsuccessful) I have come across some interesting things that some people apparently do for fun. I thought it might be interesting to go through and create a short list of 10 interesting hobbies that people actually do for fun. Now I am going to include a few things that I do but not quite so extensively (or in some cases casually) as to call them hobbies. So here goes.

1. Historical Reenacting

Have you ever been to a historic park and seen those strange people who wear old timey clothes and pretend to be from a different time? That is reenacting. Contrary to what a lot of people might think the vast majority of people who do that are not getting paid. It is a hobby, and rather an intense one at that. The people who reenact often (but not always) spend extensive time and effort to research their "impression" or what they are trying to portray. Reenacting is done for various time periods from the Neolithic well into the 20th century. 

2. Writing Letters to Royals 

Yes. There are people who spend considerable time writing letters to royals around the world. Personally I write an occasional letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II and her family but I wouldn't go so far as to call it a hobby. I did have the privilege of receiving a personally signed correspondence from HRH The Duchess of Cornwall last month. That was rather exciting. Some people go all out though, spending time and money taking letters to professional translators in order to send them to royals who don't speak your native language. Or you could...

3. Learn a New Language 

If you're ever bored you could just learn another language. With advancements in technology and economic and social globalization happening at the rate it is learning another language or 3 is a great way to spend your time. And these days programs like DuoLingo make it exceptionally simple.

4. Take up Cricket

I was quite surprised to find out that here in North Carolina there is not one, but there are 3 cricket LEAGUES. That's right. Not teams... Leagues, each consisting of at least 14 clubs. Once I eraser he'd a little bit more it made sense though. The Medical and Technology markets expanding here there have been numerous professionals moving to our state from India, where Cricket is considered a national pastime. 

5. Learn to Play an Instrument 

Go to a music store and buy a recorder, or if you fancy it buy a saxophone. Get a book or go onto YouTube and find a "learn to play" tutorial. A few minutes a day and you'll be Yoyo Ma in no time... Well... Maybe not but if you stick with it you can always impress your friends by serenading them with Jingle Bells at the office Christmas party.

6. Learn Needlepoint 

Samplers, monograms, doll faces, seat cushions... The things that you can do with needlepoint are endless. And you'll never have to buy useless Christmas gifts again. You can make them yourself!

7. Amateur Paleontology 

If you're looking for something to do outside and you want to get dirty then taking up amateur paleontology could be the thing for you. It isn't difficult. You don't have to join a special club, although you can if you want to. All you really need is a bucket and a spade but I would encourage sun cream. There are loads of Internet databases that you can look through to find local fossil deposits near you. If you live in East NC then driving to Aroura is always an easy way to guarantee your first find.

8. Go back to School 

It might not exactly sound like a hobby but with advancements in technology and accessibility of knowledge these days it is absolutely possible to go back to college and finish that degree that you always wanted. Online or one night a week programs make it easy and affordable to go back and start making your life better.

9. Become a Substitute Teacher 

Work when you feel like it. Make some extra money. Interact with kids and impact their lives. Believe it or not they might change your life too. In most counties it isn't hard. In North Carolina you have to have 48 transferable University credits or take a class called "Effective Teacher Training." It is usually a three day class at a city or community college. If you can do that and pass a background check then you're probably good to go. Most substitute teachers make around $70 or $80 dollars each day they work. Not bad for a hobby. 

Last but not least

10. Start a Blog

Be a food critic, an experimental chef, religion blogger, fashion blogger... The options are endless. Pick up one hobby and start a blog about it. You can do or be whatever you want online. Blog about food, politics, tabloids, whale ecology, Princess Kate and her shoes, whatever you want. 

Anyway, these are just a few of the thousands of hobbies out there. Look around. Find a hobby that fits you. Kill some time and have some fun.

The Vicar's Life

Through the portal and down the Nave,

he march’d with Holy Writ in hand,

to kneel and pray

at break of day

and lean upon the reading stand.

Of first order is morning prayer

so on is thrown a surplice.

Then follow he

with the Litany

and say the Lord’s Prayer twice.

Then the rite all love the best

to say, Holy Communion.

The words of Christ

they’ve now prayed thrice

with Christendom in union.

Into the vestry and off is put

And hung upon the door;

the surplice there.

Now gown to wear

to go into the church once more.

Now to expound the words of Christ

for all who stay’d to hear it

that all who hear

should come draw near

to take up the cross and bear it.

A sermon preached like none other wrote

or ever read before.

Take off the gown

and throw it down

to don the surplice from the door.

“Draw near with faith,” he tells them all

to make contrite confession

and hope and pray

what he had to say

was not lost in the lesson.

Then to the Table of the Lord,

by the north most side to stand,

to pray the line,

of words divine

while taking loaf and cup in hand.

They pray again, this comes to four,

“Our Father which art in heav’n”

All did meet

His meal to eat

and all before eleven!

The Curate’s work is never done.

He’s earned a drink of liquor!

So on Sunday

please take time to say,

“Dear Lord God, bless the Vicar!”

A Refreshing Orange Barley Water Squash

1/2 pound pearled barley

2 quarts of water
3 whole oranges
Sugar

Boil the barley and water until the barley is tender. While it is boiling juice and mash the 3 oranges. Strain the barley from the water. The water should be milky white. Pour the water over the oranges and juice and return to boil for about 5 minutes. This allows the barley water to absorb as much of the Orange essence as possible. Strain well and return to medium heat once more. Add sugar and sweeten to your own taste. Cool the squash and keep it in the refrigerator. It should keep for 6-7 days. To make it last longer you can put it in a sealed container and freeze it.

I serve it over ice mixed about half and half with Ginger Ale.

You can use the same recipe using lemons (or any citrus fruit really) instead of oranges if you like.

Port and Crackers? Why not Grape Juice and Wonder Bread?

A handful of people have asked about the name of my blog. Why do I call it Port and Crackers? Why not something else? Of course the obvious answer is because it is my blog and  I can call it whatever I bloody well please. The more rational answer, and slightly less inflammatory, would be that I am an Anglican. Port and Crackers is, as you might guess, a reference to the elements of Holy Communion. I am a priest and I celebrate the Holy Communion at least twice each month and generally more than that.

Most Christians (all Christians for the vast majority of Christian History) use wine for Holy Communion. The rationale for this is simply that Jesus used Wine at the Last Supper/First Communion. There are of course some modernist American Protestants that argue that Jesus didn't use wine but rather the term "wine" in scripture actually just means "fruit of the vine" or grape juice. I simply invite those people to keep grape juice from autumn until Passover using 1st century technology without letting it become wine.

Anyway, as an Anglican it is our tradition to use Portwine. For many centuries the English pretty well stayed in a perpetual state of war with Spain and France. The English have always been good at making beer but Wine making was left to the continent, and rightly so. If you're at war with France and Spain where would you expect to get your wine from? Portugal of course! What sort of wine is made in Portugal, you ask? Portwine! The only sort of wine that could be readily obtained in England for many years was Port so naturally it was Port which came to be used in English churches.

Port has a litany of other benefits for use as a Communion wine though. (It is certainly a better idea than Sherry!) Port wine is almost exclusively red, and as you might imaging red wine has always been favored for Holy Communion. Who knows why? Perhaps it is something to do with the fact that blood is red. (Yes. That is sarcasm, thanks.) Port is also a fortified wine, which has distilled grape spirits added to it for flavor, preservation, and to increase the alcohol content (usually to between 18-21% Abv). Now I do not believe that there is a single documented case of anyone ever getting sick from the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ, in fact I personally consider it heterodox at best for someone to believe that you can but... The simple fact remains that we live in a world full of paranoid people who are terrified of germs and disease. As Anglicans we practice communion by letting everyone drink from the chalice. Using a wine of 18%+ ABV makes it pretty certain that no germs an be passed around. Some Anglicans even allow people to dip their host or bread in the wine rather than drinking it (though this is a far less sanitary practice than drinking from the chalice). I promise that most people have dirtier fingers than mouths.

Either way, Anglicans generally use Port. I am an Anglican. This is my blog. I decided to call it Port and Crackers.

I'll explain the "crackers" bit later. :-)

A 19th Century Christmas Pudding in 2014

My wife (whose blog can be seen HERE) and I are avid living historians. What that means is we dress up in old timey clothes, go various places, and recreate historical events or situations with great emphasis on historical accuracy in every detail.

As you will see when you visit my wife's blog the focus of her (and by extension my own) research is food. She is a bit of a celebrity in LH and Reenacting circles for her historical cooking. Occasionally she gets invited to sites and museums to cook this or that in a historical context or setting. Even more occasionally I get to tag along. In December of 2014 she was invited to cook at the 1897 Poe House in Fayetteville, NC for their Christmas program. The original plan was for me to drop her off and go on my merry way but that didn't happen. I stayed and helped her in the kitchen. As we cooked we both realized that we had forgotten some of the ingredients for our Christmas pudding and home was over an hour away. Needless to say running home was out of the question so... In true 19th century fashion we improvised!

Using our combined working knowledge of historical cookery we began mixing. Butter, sugar, flour, eggs, this, that, a pinch of something else. Now there is always that one person who lives by a recipe but neither the wife or I are that person. We know our ratios, we know what tastes right with what, and we know what doesn't. So using that basic culinary know-how we made a batter that "looked right" and tasted nice. Into the baking tin, and into the oven it went. As it baked we worked ourselves up a bit. The waiting is ALWAYS the most stressful part of cooking with us so to pass the time I made a sauce for the pudding. After all, no pudding is really complete without a sticky, sweet, delicious sauce!

The time had come... The pudding was ready so out of the oven and onto the plate. We tapped the tin a few times and PLOP! There stood the most beautiful 19th century creation of culinary joy that we had ever created, and we knew from the moment we saw it that it would never be replicated. I covered it with that sticky saucepan of golden syrupy goodness and it was ready to eat. Everyone who tasted it approved. All that was left at the end of the day was a sticky plate with a small puddle of sauce in the middle.

It was a Christmas Miracle!

If you would like to see the original post on the wife's page you can HERE!

Anglicanism is like Whiskey

Anglicanism is like Whiskey. It isn't for everyone, but of you water it down then it isn't good to anyone!

Really in Love

"Wenn Sie sind in der Liebe, und Sie sollte nicht sein, dann sind Sie wirklich in der Liebe."

-Frederic Weiss

Translation: When you are in love with someone who you shouldn't love then you're really in love.

Daughter of This Land

Thy veil, oh daughter of this land, is plush and rich, and it has been set about with branches of Cornish palms and with flowers of rose and bindweed. Thy lips of honey and currants taste, and of apples too. The air about thee smells sweet of tea olive, and thy cheeks glow bright as the orchid of the Hebrides. The form of thy body is cut, as from Anglesey's stone, and thy belly soft and curved as the hills of Devon. The flesh about thee is soft and smooth as the midlands' fields, and warm like woolen woven by the hands of angels and their kin.

With eyes like stones pulled from each the Thames and Tyne and a smile which gleameth like Britania's blade thou ignitest within me a flame, a burning which wouldst fell the most chaste of men and bring them to weakness. A brow which is strong, and gentle yet excites such flame as to burn through all of the forests. Hands like mighty Dover's cliffs and delicate with not so much as a single flaw, and shaped by the skill of a master.

My Muse, my love, my darling, my sweet, and my inspiration art thou. From thee doth come my prose, inspired, and to thee do I owe my passion, eternal.

I am, and shall be all consumedly yours,

Forever

Do you believe the words that Christ spoke?

I believe that Christ is truly and perfectly present in the Sacrament of the Eucharist because He spoke the words, "This is my Body" and also "This is my Blood". I believe this because Christ spoke the words, "He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For My flesh is true food, and My blood is true drink. He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him." Christ clarifies that He is speaking not in metaphor. The Body and Blood of Christ are not metaphorical. It is a true and perfect sacrament, requisite of all Christian people. Christ has also said, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in yourselves." Christ speaks not of symbols or ordinances. Christ speaks not of mere actions in accordance to His command. He speaks of real food and real drink. He speaks of His mortal flesh sanctified by His nature having been offered to and made accessible us forever in the Holy Eucharist! Christ has given us access to his very own flesh saying, "This is my body given for you." In the Sacrament of the Eucharist we receive His Own Flesh and His Own Blood. Christ makes no mention or symbols or representations, of metaphors or hyperbole. Christ, the King of Kings, The Incarnate Word, The Son of God, and God Himself has spoken plain words, "This is my body" and "This is my blood."

Do you believe the words that Christ spoke? I do.

Fast Food vs. Public Education

A Waffle House Grill Operator with no experience or education beyond 10th grade makes on average about $8 an hour. After a few years of experience he or she can potentially increase that wage up to $11 per hour.

A Career Status North Carolina Public Elementary School Teacher of a class made up of 25 students who has 5 years of experience and a minimum of a Regionally Accredited Bachelor's Degree makes approximately $16 an hour based on a 190 working day calendar and a 10 hour working day (7 am-5 pm) which includes a 15-30 minute working lunch with his or her students. A North Carolina Public School Teacher is also expected to complete any work that is not finished within the work day at home.

These statistics are from www.ncpublicschools.org and www.glassdoor.com/Salary/Waffle-House-Salaries-E6491.htm. These statistics have been calculated before taxes.

Disney Wedding Music

What is more perfect for a wedding than the childhood reminiscence of princesses and heroes, of happy endings and happily ever afters? What brings back these childhood memories better than the music from the Disney Films that imortalize and epitomize these very ideas! Here are a few ideas for Disney music in a wedding order to make your special day even more perfect, romantic, and memorable!

Prelude:

I’m Wishing (Snow White)

or

You’ve Got A Friend In Me (Toy Story)

or

Some Day My Prince Will Come (Snow White)

or

Beauty And The Beast (Beauty And The Beast)

or

The Second Star To The Right (Peter Pan)

Bridal Party Procession:

Can You Feel The Love Tonight (The Lion King)

or

Once Upon A Dream (Sleeping Beauty)

Bridal Procession:

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes (Cinderella)

or

I See The Light (Tangled)

Unity Ceremony:

A Whole New World (Aladdin)

or

If I Never Knew You (Pocahontas)

Musical Interlude:

Kiss The Girl (The Little Mermaid)

or

Something There (Beauty And The Beast)

Recessional:

Love Is An Open Door (Frozen)

or

Aloha ‘Oe (Lilo and Stitch)

or

That’s How You Know (Enchanted)

AS THE WIND

As the wind; my passion is unseen,

though the whipping and the whistling,

through the trees of woody green,

are felt and can be noted,

and may make emotions lean,

though as it is with the wind,

my passions, yet, remain unseen.

THE MUSE

Thy neck as sculpted marble,

above the temple of thy flesh doth stand;

upon it poised the pinnacle of thy unblemished face,

which radiates with beauty and shines of sacred light of joy and happiness and grace.

Your smile, the muse of bards,

the theme of song, the stuff of ecstasy;

thy beauty timeless as the very song of love,

a beauty given solely to thee, from some great power above.

A dove of radiant beauty,

above the clouds; across the gleam of day;

above the Earth you glide and dance across the sky,

as you ascend those below you gaze at thee in awe as you fly.

A Message of Hope

In this day the heathen shall rejoice and the blasphemer shall be glad. The pagans shall revel and godless shall dance. For heathen and the blasphemer and the pagan and the godless, they know only what has passed away but they have no hope. They have no fathom of events to come. Those who mourn have hope, for we know by faith that the sun brings warmth. For when the feasts of the pagans end and when the cup of the blasphemer runs dry, and when the stores of the heathen are barren, and when the godless whither away, hope will remain in them who trust the Lord. Rejoice today all ye that do not fear the Lord, and say "Your Lord has died! Your God has perished and his body mangled and given to the earth." but when the morning comes the earth shall be opened. He who had been put to death shall conquer death, and he who was scourged will be glorified! Over the veil of death He shall rise, and our hope shall not be lost, for in His Glory we shall have Glory, and in His life we too shall live, for even as the things of earth shall pass away, the things of His Kingdom shall remain!

A Delicious and Simple Meat Pie!

Most people think of meat pies and instantly go one of two directions. Either they lean toward a Pot Pie or they just go yuck! But neither of these is what I think of. My image of a meat pie is one which is best described as a meatloaf packed with vegetables in a crust. And boy is it yummy! So to try it out yourselves, here is what you'll need:

1-2 lbs of ground meat (Turkey, Beef, or even Sausage)
2-3 cups of chunked root veggies (If you use Sausage you may just want to put potatoes in)
Various spices and seasonings (I like to use Kitchen Pepper for which you can find the recipe on My Wife's Blog)
3-4 cups of flour
2 sticks of butter
Salt
A little bit of very cold water
1 Egg
A Pie Dish
A cup or mug
A brush for an egg wash
A Mixing Bowl
A Pie Crust Tamp (or just fingers will do)

We will start by making the crust! It is very simple. Using your hands on the counter knead together the flour and butter until you get a thick doughy consistency. Add a little salt and a few drops of very cold water. (You can also do this in a bowl with a mixer) It should have a texture similar to playdough. Let the dough rest for a moment before you put it into the pie dish. Using the pie crust tamp (or just your fingers) evenly press the dough into the dish so that it looks something like this:

With the remaining dough you can roll out a top crust. I find it is easiest to put the dough between 2 layers of wax paper and roll it flat, adding a bit more flour so that it doesn't stick or tear. Put both the pan and the top in the fridge to cool down and harden. 

Next we make the filling! Take your ground meat, add spices as you desire, and mix in your veggies. It is almost too simple! In my filling I used ground beef and a frozen veggie mix (carrots, potatoes, and celery) because it was cheaper. Make sure that the veggies are evenly distributed. It should look something like this:

Now you may remove the crusts from the fridge and fill the pie. Be sure not to over fill the crust. 2/3 to 3/4 full is plenty. Both the crust and filling will expand as they cook. Pack the filling in very tightly. To put on the top crust I like to lay out the top, flip the entire pie over (this is why packing it tightly is key) and cut the edge of the top crust to the shape of the pie. Using a cutting board or something flat I flip the entire pie over again so that the top is now actually on top. Crimp the edges and make cuts in the crust like so:

These cuts prevent the crust from tearing or buckling and the pie cooks. The crimping seals the edges and makes it pretty. Add an egg wash and bake in a 400*f oven for 30-45 minutes depending on how thick the pie is. 

Once it is finished cooking you can either serve it hot or cold. When Cold it makes an exceptional breakfast dish! This dish is an excellent choice for a working class High Tea or Supper in the evening!

Enjoy!

High Tea vs. Afternoon Tea

It is often confusing to Americans when they hear the worda High or Afternoon Tea. The common misconception is that High Tea is a formal event attended by the upper crust and that Afternoon Tea is a leisure time in the middle of the day where tea and sweets are served. The truth is that Afternoon Tea is the more formal of the two.

Afternoon Tea became popular among the upper classes as a sort of stop gap between lunch which is served around noon or 1 pm, and supper which is served around 7 or 8. With up to an 7 hour gap betwen meals, you can imagine that one might get hungry between them. The meal that is now known as Afternoon Tea was  introduced for that purpose.

Afternoon Tea is a light meal, traditionally consisting of an assortment of sweets and/or light sandwiches, designed to tide one over until supper, not to fill the stomach. As an institution of the upper classes it naturally developed a very formal and ceremonious nature.

High Tea, on the contrary, is a working class meal designed to replace dinner or supper. Served between 6 and 7 in the evening the designation of "High" is believed to refer to the high backed chairs of the lower classes or the high stools found in pubs where the meal was sometimes served and not to the ceremony or formality. Someimes the meal is also referred to as "Meat Tea" designating that it is a heavier meal which included more sustenance (such as meat) for working class men and women as opposed to the frilly light fare of Afternoon Tea.

Irrational Numbers... Irrational Thoughts...

There is no such thing, in practice or in theory, as an "irrational" number. Numbers, by their very nature, are rational. Numbers are measurements, tangible or not, and each have a definitive end, and can therefore not be irrational. The nature of so called "irrational" numbers is not to be irrational but contrarily is perpetual specificity. For instance the number abbreviated as pi is defined as 3.14159265359 and so on. While the specificity of it's end may be essentially inconceivable it has a definitive end preventing it from continuing beyond 3.15 because it is defined as less than 3.15 but it is defined as being more than 3.14, and so on it is defined as being less than 3.142 and likewise more than 3.141. Essentially the number is perpetually specific, but not irrational.